I went through the automated droid-ess to register my SIM and give IMEI
etc. to setup an account, I was given an Orange number and I have
verified everything + got my 4 digit security code. I can login to my
account and my number is shown yet when I try to do anything I am told I
have not registered.

"Top up by £30 to receive 'unlimited' texts"..

....and what are the top-up options in 'my account'? £5, £10, £25 and £50.

That's some smart programming there, Lou!

I spoke to a continental droid just now, he took all my details again
and gave me 99p credit for my troubles (woo hoo) - and that is not
showing up either.

If I text ny number I get the messages so I am 'live' to that degree.

Have I fallen in to some nightmarish black-n-orange hole?

Is there any escape?